Hi, I’m Sam (the founder of The Non-Mum Network).
You’ve heard of Mumsnet, right? Well, this is Mumsnot, a place for childless and childfree women to rant and rave (and as a ‘90s party girl, I do love a rave). Having been turned away from the Mummy Club, I decided to carve out a little corner of the internet and make a club of my own (one where I’m a self-appointed VIP – Very Infertile Person).
If you’ve been denied entry too, or just never fancied being a mum, this place is for you. Come on in and find your tribe! You’ve got a backstage pass to this non-mum only gig. Pull up a chair, grab a drink, kick off your heels and get comfy.
No dress codes or entry fees at this club, just bring your own booze (or tea!) and a friendly attitude.
Join our Facebook group and let’s chat!
The Non-Mum Network started life as a Facebook group one day in March 2017 in response to the deepening sense of loneliness and ostracisation I was feeling as a 40-something woman without children living in a pronatalist society.
For decades I’d been bombarded with references to parenting, families and growing baby bumps with the assumption that I, like most* other women, would one day become a mother…but now the only thing growing inside me was a feeling of resentment towards my state of Otherhood, thanks to years of infertility and failed IVF attempts.
Everywhere I looked there were mum-related groups: antenatal classes, Mumpreneur meet-ups, mum and baby coffee mornings – which one by one my friends all joined. I felt like the only Non-Mum on the planet. That spring day I finally decided enough was enough! Surely I couldn’t be the only one feeling left out? I had to take a stand and carve out a little place of safety and community for other women like myself; a haven for women desperate to come to terms with their unexpectedly childless life, or perhaps who had consciously chosen not to have children, and together we could support one another on our meandering journey to childfree-dom.
And so, my baby, The Non-Mum Network, was born.
*82% of UK women have children by the end of their reproductive years (Source: ONS, 2020).
The inspiration for the logo for The Non-Mum Network (NMN) came to me on 31st October 2023, when, feeling disillusioned and burnt out, I left my job as a beauty retail store manager. Returning home that cold Halloween morning feeling emotional and reflective having handed over my shop keys after many years, I went into the garden with my dog and a beautiful Red Admiral butterfly suddenly appeared and fluttered all around us, before landing on the bench next to me. I put out my hand and it climbed onto it, even allowing Honey, my miniature dachshund, to touch it with her nose several times. The interaction lasted several minutes and left me with a profound sense of peace and acceptance that, as with my childlessness, everything was going to be ok.
This unusual experience, between a woman seeking comfort and a usually-shy and rarely-seen insect on this chilly autumnal British day, led me to question its spiritual meaning:
This butterfly encounter seemed far too symbolic to be merely coincidence, which led me to thinking what a perfectly fitting image a butterfly logo would be for The Non-Mum Network.
Most women who discover the NMN are on a transformative journey as they seek to create a life for themselves without children, so combining an image of a butterfly whose wings make up side profiles of two women facing one another, perfectly illustrates the relationship between non-mums seeking connection during transformation. It could also be viewed as one woman looking into a mirror, as she reflects on herself and her journey through otherhood.
The green colouring of the logo represents calm, acceptance, personal growth and renewal, as we leave behind old perceptions of what it means to be a woman, sometimes with a sense of loss at not being a mother and the life we’d expected, and strive towards spiritual enlightenment and a renewed sense of purpose, personal development and fulfilment.
The pink represents caring and compassion – characteristics of all women, not just mothers, and the self-compassion required to accept our unexpected lives as non-mums.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.
